I’ve lived in the U.S. my entire life, but I grew up between cultures.
My family is Korean-American, and that mix shaped me early — the discipline and expectation on one side, freedom and experimentation on the other. While my older sister found her place in modeling, I drifted somewhere adjacent, but never fully inside it.
I didn’t want to be in front of the camera, I wanted to understand what was around it.
Growing up backstage
Because of my sister, modeling was always part of my environment. I spent a lot of time backstage — watching fittings, observing photographers, listening to creative conversations that most people never hear. I learned how images are built, how moods are set, how confidence is sometimes real and sometimes carefully constructed.
Being that close without being the focus gave me a different relationship to the industry. I saw both the beauty and the pressure. The creativity and the exhaustion. It made me curious, but cautious.
Choosing art first
Instead of modeling, I chose art. Drawing, visual composition, color, mood — those things pulled me in more than posing ever did. Art felt like a way to process the world quietly, without needing permission. It let me explore identity, attraction, femininity, and emotion without putting myself on display.
For a long time, that felt like the right distance.
Stepping in front of the camera — just a little
Still, there were other things surrounding the life of being a model that I was drawn towards. Seeing my sister getting to meet famous celebrities and being invited to exclusive parties made me a bit jealous. However as I got older she managed to get me some invitations as well.
Being around the industry made it inevitable that I’d try modeling myself — at least once or twice. A few photo shoots turned into a handful more. Nothing heavy. Nothing career-driven. Just creative collaborations where the camera felt like an extension of the art rather than a spotlight. I enjoyed those moments more than I expected — especially when the shoot felt intentional, calm, and expressive.
That’s how I met Mary.
Meeting Mary
We connected quickly, not through ambition, but through conversation. I also dated one of her former partners for a little while.
Mary and I talked about pressure, about choosing your own pace, about how different paths can exist side by side without competing. Mary understood immediately that I wasn’t trying to become a model — I was trying to understand the world that produces images, desire, and identity.
What I want to share here
Mary and I have had many conversation about boys, dating and sex. I’m excited to bring those thoughts and discussions over to this website. It’s also exciting to share a few pictures and see how followers respond to that.
I’m grateful Mary opened the door — and I’m excited to step in, in my own way.
— Akari 🌙
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